Sometimes emotions get heated in the classroom. A kid can be so disruptive and disrespectful that you want to really “put him in his place.” Not only does this reduce you to adolescent behavior, but it also creates tension with you, that student, and the others. Without emotional safety, not only are you at risk of losing mutual respect, but also students are reluctant to learn from you.
So, what do you do when a kid is outrageously disruptive?
• Step 1: Send him or her out of the room
In a calm voice, even though you’re screaming inside and your face is red hot, tell the student to leave the room. If the student argues, e.g. he says things such as “Why?” or “I didn’t do anything,” continue to repeat yourself with a calm voice. Usually the student will leave and follow the procedure. If he is particularly obstinate, involve the administration. Have a spot set up in another teacher’s room, and communicate your procedure with her so that she can support you.
Avoid allowing the student any more opportunities to disrupt class. It is more important for you to focus your instruction for the other students who are behaving correctly. Don’t waste class time on disciplining. You do not have to tolerate any disruptions. Remember to be calm, composed and respectful.
Step 2: Set up a procedure for self-reflection
Adults, after years of practice, have learned how to be introspective and take ownership of our behavior. Kids, on the other hand, need to be taught how to do that. Otherwise, it becomes a “my teacher is picking on me” game. One way to do this is to have students fill out a reflection sheet with questions when you send them out. How can you ensure the student fills it out? Set up a time for a one-on-one discussion later that day. Avoid wordiness. Give clear, concise directives.
• Step 3: Set up a procedure for a safe discussion
It is important to allow yourself and your student time to cool off. Reflective discussions cannot be effective if you or the student is still angry. However, avoid putting the conversation off longer than two days. Remember to use a calm, peaceful voice when discussing. Apologize if there was a misunderstanding. Guide the student to self-reflect. Discuss why his or her behavior is impolite, disruptive, or hurtful. Give appropriate consequences such as apologizing to another student, phone call to parents, etc… Thank the student for being honest and sharing his or her feelings, no matter how scathing to you they are. Recognize, too, that sometimes our actions cause a student to behave a certain way. Remember to take responsibility for your own actions and apologize, or even change your own behavior, if the situation calls for it.
• Step 4: Let the student know that all is forgiven the next day.
Give the student a smile, pat on the back, or compliment on a new pair of shoes. Or, let the student know that you noticed that he or she is trying extra hard to eliminate the behavior you talked about yesterday. Tell him or her you are proud.
• Step 5: If a student is a repeat-offender, there is a bigger problem amiss.
It should take only one conference with a student to eliminate any behavior problems. This procedure endorses mutual respect. Students feel safe and cared for. This is a procedure that is meant to avoid an office referral. However, if a student seems to continue the behavior, or more problems arise, go to a new level: get in touch with parents, administration, and school councilors, and get them involved. Sometimes the problem is beyond what you can handle alone. Furthermore, use discretion. Fighting, swearing, severe disrespect and dangerous behavior are not minor class disruptions and should not be dealt with by using this procedure. Send the student directly to the office or call for help and write a referral.
Effective Discussion Tips:
1. Use a calm tone. Yelling defeats the purpose of a “discussion.”
2. Discuss each of the reflection questions with the student. Read the question and the student’s answer aloud, and respond.
3. Look at how the student felt about the situation and address his feelings. For example, you can apologize to the student for how he felt: “I’m sorry you got angry about this.”
4. Tell the student how you felt about the situation. Let him know that his words or actions made you feel angry or hurt. Give him an opportunity to explain himself or apologize.
5. Apologize if you were at fault. Sometimes it is so hard to acknowledge you were in the wrong. As teachers, we feel like we are always in control and the students are always the ones who behave badly. At times, however, students misbehave because of something we did.
6. Apologize if there was a miscommunication error and explain yourself. Often students get angry with us and lash out when they misinterpret what we say or do. Explain yourself and let the student know that you didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. Let him know that you feel badly for how he misinterpreted it.
7. Guide the student to self-reflect. If he is unsure how to better handle the situation, give him two or three options to choose from for next time. If he is unsure why his behavior is disruptive or hurtful, explain in a calm tone the consequences of his actions.
8. Be sure to make the student feel like you care.
9. Give the student opportunities to talk. Listen to what he has to say. Avoid a one-sided conversation.
10. Accept his apology and thank him for being honest about his feelings.
11. Be firm with any consequences he may have incurred.
Sample Procedure
The following example is a procedure used in an 8th grade classroom. My teaching team put our heads together and created this plan which is a little more organized, and a little more mature than the ordinary “time out.” We called it, “chill out.”
We posted this list of procedures in the classroom and also put it on our syllabus. On the first day of school, we discussed the procedure with the students so that the students knew the expectations and were able to execute them with few disruptions. We put a clipboard with a pen attached at the back of the room near the door. When a student became disruptive and argumentative, we simply told the student to take the clipboard to the designated “chill out” room.
Each teacher on the team had a desk at the back of the classroom where the “chill out” procedures were posted. The desk had a stack of novels that the students could read to keep busy until the end of class. Sometimes the student was too angry to read, or was engaged in deep thought. We didn’t pressure the student to “stay busy” as long as he or she was not disruptive. Sometimes kids, like adults, just need time to work out their anger, or to reflect.
The student stayed in the “chill out” room until the end of class. Then the student took the completed “chill out” reflection sheet to the teacher, handed in any assignments that were collected, retrieved his things, and came back at the end of the day for a teacher/student discussion. This procedure allowed the teacher and the student time to reflect and cool off. Once feelings level out, both teacher and student can have a very effective discussion.
This list of procedures was posted in the classrooms and appeared on the syllabus. Each team teacher had the same “Chill Out Procedures.”
Chill Out Procedures:
1. Your teacher will give you a signal to go to the designated CHILL OUT room.
2. Silently take the clipboard with attached pen.
3. Walk to the CHILL OUT room directly and quietly enter. (Disrupting the class in session will result in an immediate referral to the office).
4. Think, reflect and write. When finished, you will read a provided SSR book.
5. At the bell, return to your class and hand your teacher the completed reflection and clipboard. Hand in any assignments that were due.
6. After the last period of the day, return to conference with your teacher.
7. Consequences:
a. Phone call home
b. Missed work is due
c. Make apologies when necessary
This worksheet was photocopied on yellow paper and placed on the clipboard.
Mrs. Smith's Chill Out Worksheet
1. Go to Mrs. Green’s room. Enter the room quietly. (Disrupting her class will result in a referral).
2. Think, reflect and write. Fill out the following worksheet. When finished, choose a novel on the chill out desk.
3. Stay in Mrs. Green’s room until the end of class.
4. At the bell, hand this completed worksheet to Mrs. Smith.
5. Hand in any assignments that were collected.
6. After today’s last class, return to Mrs. Smith for a teacher/student conference.
7. Consequences:
a. Phone call home
b. Missed work is due
c. Make apologies when necessary
1. From your point of view, explain what happened in detail.
2. How do you feel about what happened? Explain why.
3. Explain what happened from your teacher’s point of view. How do you think she interpreted the situation? How do you think she feels?
4. How would you have handled the situation differently? In other words, what would have been the right thing to do?
5. What will you do to avoid the situation next time?
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